I never thought this would happen to me. When I first started peeping burgers several years ago, I was certain I would never give a perfect 5-star score. I felt it should be an aspirational goal for burger makers everywhere…the perfect burger, impossible to improve. A five star rating for me was more a concept along the lines of Plato’s forms, an aspatial, atemporal abstract of an ideal, a blueprint for perfection, unattainable in this fleeting and imperfect world. I was wrong, oh so very wrong. These words do not come easily…I visited this establishment last Tuesday and have spent sleepless nights of self-doubt and struggled with a gnawing sense of my own mortality and flaws. This burger changed my life. I have racked my mind, tastebuds and soul for a way in which it could be improved, and it cannot. The meat is exquisite, fresh ground, loosely packed with the perfect blend of fat and protein. The bun was perfectly toasted and in no way too much or too little for the burger and toppings inside. The cheese and toppings themselves were first class, fresh and flavorful. I started with their namesake two8two burger and it was simply wonderful but I considered the possibility that I was overly impressed by the house sauce and toppings. I dived back into the fray, selecting a simple cheeseburger as the ultimate test; giving the burger no room to hide, a chance for pure and true expression of its essence. The second burger was somehow even better. These two burgers may have ruined me. By expressing and flaunting taste bud perfection, I fear this place has murdered my burger tasting future. What will compare…how will I justify the next $10+ burger that doesn’t even come close? I have tasted the metaphorical apple from the tree of knowledge and am now a fallen man, with too much knowledge for my own good. Buy this burger at your own peril; perfection made reality is a dangerous thing.